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Hi Melissa:
I was wondering if you could help me out. I’ve been going to school(college) with this woman who is engaged. We have a lot in common, she likes me a lot, and I have the distinct impression that she wants, or atleast wanted, to have sex with me. Well I haven’t had a girlfriend in a while, so when I came to realize this I think I got a little excited and pushed her away.

I was constantly trying to arrange something but she’s an extremely busy person, and well… I kept trying to accomplish getting her to hang out so I could work my magic. I think by acting kind of needy and constantly trying to pursue this pushed her away. I really blew it when I did chill with her when her fiance was out of town, we went to go see a movie, well I really didn’t want to see a movie (after we got there) so we decided to drive around and bullshit. When we got back to her car, after holding her hand and rubbing her leg the whole way, we sat around and talked for a while longer.

It started snowing so she decided to call it a night, we hugged… then… I always blow it at this point, I asked if it would be alright to kiss her, she then stated that she didn’t want to put our friendship in any awkward situations and that would probably do it, so we said goodnight. We really haven’t talked anything about sex after that.

I guess what I want to know, is would it be worth it to still pursue something there, and if so how should I go about seducing the most amazing woman I’ve met in a long time.

Melissa answers:

Jesse:

Let me ask you this. If you had asked a woman to marry you would you want her to be faithful to you during your engagement? If you would, respect her request and keep things at the friendship level. If you wouldn’t care whether your fiancee slept with others before you got married then by all means try to seduce this woman… just know that one roll in the hay might ruin your friendship forever.

If, however, she’s giving you signs that she’s interested in more than a friendship — and you really care about her — then you need to sit her down and tell her how you feel. Now, if she’s not giving you signs that she’s interested, you’re definitely better off not telling her how you feel, and simply letting these feelings go. Keep an eye out for women who show interest in you first, use seduction to drastically increase that interest, and keep your friendship with the girl you’re writing me about.

Good luck,

Melissa

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